the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
