He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
