She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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