They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I can't turn off my feet"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
