He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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