sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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