I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize