i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
