Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
