why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I love having hate sex.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
