I hate all girls vehemently.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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