the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
