i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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