he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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