like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
there is puke in my bra ... again
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