Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
