And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
