yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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