OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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