Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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