i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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