I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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