wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
