I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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