ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
smell my finger.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
