Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I want to make a zoo with you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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