Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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