Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize