So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
