walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
