i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
