So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
