Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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