im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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