Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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