You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
