When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
