Don't you send me to vm
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
