I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
