dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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