Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
