It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
