Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
