That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize