do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
