I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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