i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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