That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
