things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
