dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
