I wish life had little blips of pornography
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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