yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
