some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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