There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
