my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
