Apparently you make a good broom.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
