Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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