Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
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