i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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