Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize