Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
