I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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