My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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