I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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