it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
How's work?
Spinning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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