pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
