please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize