her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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