its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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